Writing 2 Portfolio

Portfolio

WP3 Final Draft: Building Awareness

Jordan Caldwell

Zack de Piero

Writing 2

29 May 2016

WP3: Building Awareness

              Depression is a mental disorder characterized by constant feelings of sadness, anxiety, and hopelessness and is influenced by a neurotransmitter called serotonin. It is something I am very passionate about and have firsthand experience with, which is why my Writing Project will focus on depression. I chose to evaluate and transform the scholarly article Differential abnormalities in plasma 5-HIAA and platelet serotonin concentrations in violent suicide attempters: Relationships with impulsivity and depression (Differential Abnormalities), written by Spreux-Varoquaux et al. I have transformed it into two new genres—a set of instructions for an educational game for a younger audience and a Web MD post written for concerned adults—by using moves conventional of each genre.

              The primary objective of the article is to evaluate the plasma and platelet serotonin concentrations in “violent suicide attempters” and examine the association between these factors and depression and impulsivity (Spreux-Varoquaux et al. 2001). A group of twenty-seven suicide attempters admitted to intensive care units were selected upon a certain criteria, as well as a control group of fifteen subjects, to be interviewed by trained psychiatrists and evaluated on their levels of depression and impulsivity. After the interviewing process, both groups underwent the same blood sampling procedures in which “biochemical determinations” were made for the chemicals 5-hydroxyindolacetic acid (5-HIAA) (a serotonin metabolite) and homovanillic acid (HVA).  5-HIAA and HVA levels are measured through blood processing of both types of subjects to analyze adjacent to the interviews taken to qualitatively assess depression levels, which demonstrates the study’s overlap of the biological and psychological disciplines. Both physiological and cognitive assessments are performed to create relationships between hormone levels, mental health, and impulsive actions.

              The “younger” genre I created is a set of instructions for an educational and interactive game intended for 3^rd—5^th grade elementary school students. The goal of the game is to use a sensored “wand” to identify a certain brain region that an automated voice from the game asks you to locate. The “brain” is a large, plastic model that lights up when the correct region has been touched. The brain first asks the students to locate a certain region associated with certain functions and illnesses. If the students touch the correct region, the region lights up in yellow. If the incorrect area is touched, the whole brain turns red. It is intended for a classroom setting in which the teacher assigns students to groups so they can work together. The idea is for the teacher to give an intensive (for an elementary school student) lesson on anatomy and diseases of the brain and then introduce The Brain Game to the students as a way to encourage them to learn. The interactive and “colorful” nature of the game targets the 8—10 year age group, as older kids are not as intrigued by flashing lights and interactive games. The kids have to read the instructions on their own in order to figure out how the game works.

I used my prior knowledge of popular kids’ games and inspiration from the game Operation to think of moves to use for the instructions. I used a typical How to Play header to indicate that these were the instructions, and I separated the Game Setup and the To Win Points sections, so that kids would know where to look if they need help starting the game or how to play in general. I used a numbered list format in the form of “star boxes”. Together, the numbers and separate boxes make it clear the sequential order of the steps. This demonstrates the choice of moment perspective I took on the piece—a concept introduced by McCloud—as every box signifies an important but different aspect of the game. Using contrasting primary and secondary colors (such as green and orange) to grab the kids’ attention illustrates Losh and Alexander’s concept of performance through using visual rhetoric to instill joy and excitement in the child audience (132). This transformative piece is a creative and effective idea based on educating children on prevalent health issues via interactive learning. It is a proactive way of building health awareness in younger generations.

              Web MD targets a quite opposite audience. This valuable medical internet resource provides information on countless disorders and diseases, as well as treatments and other resources for those seeking help. The targeted ages are middle-aged adults (between 30—50 years old). Younger adults who might be experiencing depression are less likely to feel comfortable seeking help, whereas older adults might experience midlife crises or have a child or other relative possibly showing symptoms. The Web MD article does not serve as a direct diagnostic tool but offers suggestions and lists resources, encouraging the potentially depressed to seek professional help and let them know that they’re not alone.

              I used several moves to produce my own rendition of a Web MD post. For instance, I split the article into main segments: What is Depression?, What are the Symptoms?, and How do I Cure my Depression? Using this method, the information was explained in both a formal tone and other times in list form, such as when common symptoms were listed. Other typical conventions of a Web MD article were also incorporated into the piece, such as the logo, Tools and Resources section above the main article, links to other trending articles, and more. I tried to keep a similar font as well. The techniques I used to transform this piece embodied an overall choice of frame perspective. Unlike the scholarly article and the kids’ game instructions, this article uses a different angle to view the issue of depression (McCloud, 10). It portrays the disorder in a diagnostic light; the information is displayed to encourage people to get help, rather than simply to teach the audience of advances in science (Differential abnormalities) or encourage preventative education (The Brain Game).

Many people of all ages experience this disorder worldwide, and the negative consequences include lack of motivation, job loss, relationship dysfunction, and even suicide. The prevalence of people diagnosed with depression, especially in the United States, calls for an increase in accessible medical and counseling resources for people seeking help as well as health education and prevention programs to raise awareness for the disease. This high concern is what motivated me to transform the scholarly article into genres more accessible to younger and older audiences. By observing important conventions of each transformed genre, I was able to use moves that translated them into my own works.

Works Cited

Alexander, J. & Losh, E. “Writing Identities.” Understanding Rhetoric: A Graphic Guide to Writing. Boston: Bedford Books, 2013. 114—139. Print.

Alvarez, J-C., Batista, G., Berlin, I., Cremniter, D., Despierre, P-G., Gilton, A., Spreux-Varoquaux, O. “Differential abnormalities in plasma 5-HIAA and platelet serotonin concentrations in violent suicide attempters: Relationships with impulsivity and depression.” Life Sciences 69 (2001): 647—657. Web. 21 May 2016.

“Depression: Types of Antidepressants.” FamilyDoctor. American Academy of Family Physicians, September 2012. Web. 22 May 2016.

McCloud, Scott. “Writing with Pictures: Clarity, Persuasion, and Intensity.” Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art. New York: HarperPerrenial, 1994. 8—57. Print.

 “What is Depression?” WebMD. WebMD, 09 April 2016. Web. 21 May 2016.

WP3 younger genre--game instructions

Click here to view  my WP3 Brain Game Instructions, the younger genre.

WP3 First Draft

WP3

              Depression is a mental disorder characterized by constant feelings of sadness, anxiety, and hopelessness and is influenced by a “happiness” hormone called serotonin.  Either low serotonin levels in the brain or excessive neuronal reuptake of serotonin can cause depression symptoms. Many people of all ages experience this disorder worldwide, and the negative consequences include lack of motivation, job loss, relationship dysfunction, and even suicide. I have also had personal experiences with dealing with depression, which makes me very passionate about the subject. The prevalence of people diagnosed with depression, especially in the United States, calls for an increase in accessible medical and counseling resources for people seeking help as well as health education and prevention programs to raise awareness for the disease. Therefore, I am using the topic of depression to construct my final Writing Project. I have selected an article that researches the physiological processes behind depression and transformed it into two new genres, one that engages a younger audience and one that targets adults.

              I chose to evaluate and transform the scholarly article Differential abnormalities in plasma 5-HIAA and platelet serotonin concentrations in violent suicide attempters: Relationships with impulsivity and depression (Differential Abnormalities), written by Spreux-Varoquaux et al. and published in the Life Sciences journal.

              The primary objective of the article is to evaluate the plasma and platelet serotonin concentrations in “violent suicide attempters” and examine the association between these factors and depression and impulsivity (Spreux-Varoquaux et al. 2001). A group of twenty-seven suicide attempters admitted to intensive care units were selected upon a certain criteria, as well as a control group of fifteen subjects, to be interviewed by trained psychiatrists and evaluated on their levels of depression and impulsivity. After the interviewing process, both groups underwent the same blood sampling procedures in which “biochemical determinations” were made for the chemicals 5-hydroxyindolacetic acid (5-HIAA) (a serotonin metabolite) and homovanillic acid (HVA).  5-HIAA and HVA levels are measured through blood processing of both types of subjects to analyze adjacent to the interviews taken to qualitatively assess depression levels, which demonstrates the study’s overlap of the biological and psychological disciplines. Both physiological and cognitive assessments are performed to create relationships between hormone levels, mental health, and impulsive actions.

              The “younger” genre I created is a set of instructions for an educational and interactive game intended for 3^rd—5^th grade elementary school students. The goal of the game is to use a sensored “wand” to identify a certain brain region that an automated voice from the game asks you to locate. The “brain” is an enlarged, plastic, but realistic model of a brain that lights up when the correct region has been touched. The intended context is a classroom setting in which the teacher assigns students to groups so they can work together to play the game.

The genre I tailored to an older audience is a Web MD post. Web MD is a valuable medical internet resource that provides information on countless disorders and diseases, as well as treatments and other resources for those seeking help.

Week 8 Thlog

Week 8 Thlog

      The main focus of this week’s meetings was forming ideas for Writing Project 3. This WP might be the most challenging one for me. For some people it might be a fun chance to express their creativity, but I’m going to have to try really hard to find my creative side. Like I said in class, I’m not good with computer graphics or technology or anything. And I suck at coming up with my own ideas. That’s why I want to take advantage of the Web MD post, because I like the idea and I honestly can’t think of anything better.

      I like my topic right now, but I hope I can come up with enough ideas for my ‘younger’ genre. My idea is to create the brain game in which a voice within the game asks the child to identify a certain part of the brain by touching that part with a wand-type thing. I might manually draw and write the instructions so that I can incorporate color.

When we talked about summarizing in class, I didn’t think the concept was a big deal. But when I tried my best to summarize my WP3 article, it was challenging to condense all the key points into just two paragraphs, especially because the study had like five main focuses and used such scientific terminology.

      Another challenge of WP3 will be incorporating the McCloud reading into the paper. I think I’ll have to choose one of the important “choices” to focus on because the essay is so short. I might choose choice of angle but write about it in a metaphorical way. I can examine the different angles that each new genre looks at depression and the physiological process behind it. Like how the brain game uses these phenomena to teach kids, and Web MD portrays the information in a way that allows people looking for answers to find them, to self-diagnose.

PB3A

PB3A: The Brain Game

The scholarly article I plan on transforming for my Writing Project 3 is Differential abnormalities in plasma 5-HIAA and platelet serotonin concentrations in violent suicide attempters: Relationships with impulsivity and depression (Differential Abnormalities). Published by the Life Sciences journal, Spreux-Varoquaux et al. primarily aimed to evaluate plasma and platelet serotonin concentrations in “violent suicide attempters” and examine the relationship between these concentrations and depression and impulsivity. A select group of suicide attempters admitted to intensive care units, as well as a control group, are interviewed by trained psychiatrists to assess levels of depression and impulsivity. After that, both patients and control subjects underwent the same blood sampling procedures and “biochemical determinations” were made for the chemicals 5-hydroxyindolacetic acid (5-HIAA) (a serotonin metabolite) and homovanillic acid (HVA).

This study implements the overlap of the biological and psychological disciplines.  5-HIAA and HVA levels are measured via blood sampling of both types of subjects to analyze adjacent to the interviews taken to qualitatively assess depression levels. In this experiment, it is clear that both physiological and cognitive assessments are performed to form relationships between hormone levels, mental health, and impulsive actions.

I chose this article partially because I have experienced depression firsthand and have a family member who has suffered with severe depression (and subsequent alcoholism) his whole life. The disorder is very interesting to me; all the physiological processes involved and the external effects of those processes are so complex and fascinating. Diagnosis of depression and suicidal acts are prevalent worldwide, especially among young adults experiencing extreme peer pressure, raging hormones, and often bullying.

For the transformed genre targeting an adult audience, I was thinking of doing a Web MD post. Zack told us about how someone used that genre for their WP3 and I thought it was highly appropriate for my article. It might be somewhat difficult since I would describing a mental disorder, but I think it’s important for people to be able to identify their feelings of depression even if they lack counseling resources. Web MD could be a great preventative tool for people who are confused about their troubled thoughts. With the Web MD post, I could incorporate much of the language from the scholarly article as well as evidence discussing the indicative happiness hormones such as serotonin and dopamine. I can directly address the article in the post by saying things like “studies have shown that low serotonin levels are associated with depression and impulsivity, which can lead to suicide”.

To target a younger audience, I was thinking of creating a fake “brain game” similar to operation. This educational game would include lots of lights, beeping noises, and voice-animated tasks that would provide a fun and entertaining way to learn about the brain’s different functional parts and the neural network within it. I won’t be creating the game itself, but rather the easy-to-read instructions for it. The voice in the game would ask the child to identify a certain structure of the brain, and a beeper (just like Operation) will go off if the child touches a different part with the provided surgical tool. This hands-on learning tool is fun and engaging for kids, which helps them to subconsciously absorb information. Health education in younger generations will contribute to the awareness of the prevalence of people with mental disorders.

Week 7 Thlog

Week 7 Thlog

This week we mainly focused on ideas for Writing Project 3. Monday’s weekly  tips were very helpful and applicable. Process tip #1 (“know what you write”) I felt was really important because so often us students get stuck having to write about a topic that we’re really unfamiliar with. What I love about this class is its freedom of choice; we for the most part get to choose what to write about. I still had to do some researching for WP2 (obviously), but  getting to write about something I was interested in—underage drinking—and getting to analyze it from the perspectives I wanted to—biology and sociology—made the research process bearable. And being so familiar with scholarly research articles made it even easier. For other classes, I’m sure my freedom will be limited and I’ll eventually have to do intense research on a completely unfamiliar topic.

              Process tip #4 (“turn your paper into a poem”) was also surprisingly helpful. It’s an organization technique I had never encountered before, but it really does help me make sure my sentences transition smoothly . Using that strategy—by separating my paragraphs into individual sentences—I was able to see where I awkwardly moved on to the next topic and place a transition word/sentence there.

              Monday’s peer-reviewing was helpful because my peer-reader constructively criticized my paper and highlighted areas/concepts that needed more specificity. I found that there were quite a few areas where I was vague about concepts that were essential to the heart of the paper. I was able to go back and find definitions from course readings to support those terms or elaborate on them on my own.

              Today’s (Wednesday’s) class was at first overwhelming but ended up staying pretty structured. Besides the online setting, the objective of today’s class was pretty different than other lesson plans. Analyzing the painter’s teaching techniques showed me how Zack wants us to elaborately explain every aspect of our “new genres”.  I think the videos emphasize that every little detail is important. Missing one feature could subtract from the whole genre and make it lose its meaning altogether. It gave me a better idea of what Zack wants our WP3’s to look like, but I still want to hear more details in person because there are so many parts.

7.2 Journal 5/11/16

Q1: I'm fairly satisfied with my W2. I feel that I stayed much more on topic than WP1. Of course I'm a bit hesitant about it because there's always room to improve, but I'm satisfied with my topic of underage drinking and the way I structured the essay and I managed to fit it all into six pages! I also think the articles I found provided really good examples. I'm still unsure about my thesis statement. It fits my argument, but I don't know if I should be more specific.

Q2: Three comments: One helpful comment was that I should elaborate on course concepts that I mention in the paper, like moves and conventions. It shows that you're not just saying things and it's a good outlet to incorporate evidence from the readings. My peer reviewer also suggested that I elaborate on one of the moves I introduced; rather than just saying the author did it and provide a quote, I should explain how the quote shows that he is making that move. She also told me to further explain the significance of the difference between qualitative and quantitative approaches.

"Painting Trees" Question Responses:

1. What are some "moves you see in these videos?

Distant Trees:
sharp edges
short, vertical strokes
close together
reload brush frequently
"pond illusion" by painting bigger trees toward outside
bilateral symmetry of image
"planes" caused by shade gradients
dry, horizontal stroke to make reflections

Making Mountains
uses straight edge knife, drag edge along canvas to scrape off paint
2 inch soft wet brush to pull paint diagonally--drag color across to cause fad

Painting an Evergreen
fan brush, pull and wiggle it through paint, lots of paint
corner of brush to tap canvas back & forth to make branches, wider on bottom, "don't overkill"

Disney video:
Mark: arrangement of upward & outward lines, charcoal on light gray paper, 3D quality, black & white paint.

Josh: biggest brush with oil paint and lighter fluid, switches to palate knives, "careful & precise".

Ivand: focuses on trunk, casene for fine detail, texture of trunk bark.

Walt: strong, straight inclines, geometric interpretations (architecture).

2.How do these artists (Bob Ross and the Disney painters) describe what they’re doing?  What do the artists refer to while they describe their work?  What do they talk about?  What do they direct our attention towards?
Walt: He talks about how he envisions his painting, what he wants it to look like.  "I can see myself drawing it". Makes comparisons to architectural structures, geometric interpretations. "I have to be very careful to..." "I still look at it with an architectural perspective"
Josh: Sees tree as living thing w/ personality, wants to work fast and efficiently yet with careful & precision. "I consider ___ important".
Ivand: Sees richness and variety in nature. Won't paint the whole tree, will focus on trunk. "portrait of a tree trunk". Focuses on trunk's texture."I need to do this..."
Mark: Interested in growth pattern and bony structure."later, you will see how I use white". "of course, I can't do this until I do this". "There must be good design"


3.How would you characterize each artist's style, and what impact does their style have on you (a viewer/audience member)?  How have these artists chosen to portray their subject matter?

Walt has a "modern style" and uses geometric patterns to reinforce the idea of a tree as architecture. The image is unique and at first mind-blowing, not what the eyes expect.

I would say Mark had the "simplest" style, using black and white and not immense detail. When I think of painting a tree, this is how I would try to do it.

Josh I thought was realistic and abstract at the same time. Natural colors and crazy brush strokes. It's more aesthetically pleasing.

Ivand's was my favorite. The trunk detail was the most realistic and had the biggest "Disney" vibe.

Week 6 Thlog

Week 6 Thlog

              Discussing moves a lot more this week kind of helped me understand more of what moves are: they’re basically any decision you make in writing in order to improve your rhetoric. A move can be very broad, like a certain paragraph structure, or it can be a certain word you use often to surprise readers, to get their attention. The ambiguity of the term move will make it easier for me to pick out the different moves the authors of my three WP2 sources make; I can compare overall essay structure and then dive into the smaller details like the jargon of their different disciplines. Wednesday’s comparison/contrast between conventions and moves was also helpful.

              Speaking of WP2, I’m really nervous about finding the perfect topic. I really want to write about something I’m passionate about, and I found a topic that interests me, but I’m having a hard time finding a second scholarly source in the sociology field. I have everything else and I already did my shitty first draft, but if I can’t find another article that relates to my topic soon I’ll have to start all over again with a new topic. I just really want to get a better grade on this WP than the last one. At first I thought it was going to be a lot easier than the last prompt but after searching for relevant articles I realized it’s actually going to require a lot more research.

              Going over the two sample essays by “The Chief” and “Red Rosie” in Wednesday’s class gave me a much better idea of what Writing Project 2 should look like. I think critiquing the errors in their papers helped me recognize mistakes that I can easily avoid now. And in general the examples kind of give me a guideline to work off of. The layout of both essays was fairly simple and structured in a way that exactly fit the prompt for our essay.

PB2B: Making Moves

PB2B

Below are some common moves used by renowned writers and some that I created myself by observing patterns among essays we have read in class.

Entertaining Objections:

This is a chance for the writer to acknowledge an opposing/differing viewpoint from his own in order to show the audience that he has considered other sides. It demonstrates his ability to see other people’s perspectives—to be open-minded— which builds his ethos credit. Then when he offers reasoning to oppose this viewpoint and support his own, the audience is more likely to hear him out. A good example is from Peter Elbow’s Two Kinds of Thinking: “You might also argue that intuitive thinking is better enhanced by silent musing; or going for a walk or sleeping…but such attempts…often merely postpone thinking” (Elbow, 59). His introduction of a counterargument provides an outlet to emphasize reasoning towards his own point.

Establishing Why Your Claims Matter:

              This is critical in any argumentative piece; it takes the exigence and magnifies it to a bigger, often global, scale. The purpose of this “bigger picture” is to turn the problem into one that affects the reader, not just the writer. This move allows one to explicitly state why the reader should care about and listen to his argument, because sometimes it’s less obvious. In Steps Toward Rhetorical Analysis, Carroll states that “college is not the only place where an understanding of how rhetoric works is important” and explains further that rhetorical expertise can be used “from boardrooms to your children’s classrooms or churches to city council meetings” (Carroll, 57). By giving examples of everyday situations in which rhetoric is necessary, the reader is more likely to find the information useful.

Making What “They Say” Something You Say:

              This move relies on relatability to engage readers. It is used in more informal writings; the author uses personal pronouns to refer to himself and achieve a more conversational tone. The author often refers to a belief or opinion that he has or an experience he has had in the past to hopefully draw upon a belief/experience that his readers also share. The purpose is to get the readers to agree with him on some level so they will more easily be convinced of his main argument.  Mike Bunn illustrates this move with his statement “I was an English major in college, but I don’t think I ever thought much about reading” (Bunn, 72), which uses the fact that he attended college and disliked schoolwork to get on his young readers’ levels.

Capturing Authorial Action:

Capturing Authorial Action introduces “experts in the field”, the field being either the area in which the writer’s argument lies or the field that opposes said argument. These people don’t actually have to be experts but have some level of credentials and a strong opinion about the topic. This device can be used to support or provide a counterargument for the author’s claim, but it simply shows the reader that he’s done his research and is not just speaking for himself. Bunn exemplifies this concept when he says “Author David Jauss makes a similar comparison…” (Bunn, 74), which follows the formula “X thinks ___”. In this case, his reference supports his argument.

Explaining Quotations:

This is always an effective move. The author shows that not only can he provide evidence, but that he is aware of the connection between it and his claim. Doing this can also allow readers to better understand why the evidence actually serves as evidence—what it is about the quote that adds value/significance to the writer’s case. After providing a lengthy quote by “leading professor” Carolyn Miller, Dirk continues with “In other words, Miller is saying that all genres matter because they shape our everyday lives” (Dirk, 254). This statement provides a clear explanation for the point Dirk wants to get across by using Miller’s quote.

Moves I Coined

Piece-by-Piece:

              Most of the readings we’ve discussed in class so far have incorporated this technique to create a more comprehensible structure. Writers separate sections of their paper by placing titles above each new section. The title provides a clue to the reader as to what will be discussed in the following segment, and provides clear transitions between two areas of the argument. One perfect example is Responding to Other Students’ Writing, where Staub uses subtitles like “How do You Get Started?” to separate different main points regarding peer-review. Titles in question form are common in essays that teach the reader how to do something, whereas non-question titles appear in more argumentative pieces.

Rhetorical Rhetoric:

This is a simple yet subtly powerful method in which the writer asks a rhetorical question. The question serves to ignite active thinking within the reader, to get him to think deeper about the addressed topic and not just read the words on the page. The desired outcome of asking these thought-provoking questions is for the reader to generate his own opinion on the matter and to learn to analyze. In Murder! (Rhetorically Speaking), Boyd asks the insanely simple yet investigative question “Why is it funny?” to get her student readers to understand the “extent to which we… internalize our rhetorical tools” through media, literature, and social influences (Boyd, 90).

The Knee-Slapper:

With this move, the author uses humor to attract younger readers (people our age). A funny line is usually inserted near a significant point in the argument to draw attention to that point. Its purpose is to make a bland or serious argument more lighthearted and fun to read, so that readers are more likely to pay attention. Boyd concludes Murder with “You can see now that when I told you [about rhetoric]…I wasn’t just feeding you a bunch of bull” (Boyd, 100). In this case she hints at using explicit language to cause a laugh and make the conversation less formal.

Self-Critique:

This is a less common but very effective move in which the author takes parts of his own work to get students thinking about his writing techniques. Doing so encourages readers to dissect what they read, to discover its underlying parts and think about why the writer made certain choices. Bunn demonstrates this by deconstructing his opening paragraph in How to Read Like a Writer and providing examples of questions the reader should ask in order to understand his own moves.

Writing about Writing:

This last move is defined by an author’s demonstrations of specific writing techniques in order to teach about good writing. Instead of just talking about it, the author includes examples of the concept he is referring to. This provides an aspect of visual learning, where the writer can see first-hand exactly what is being discussed. The samples also serve as potential templates that readers can use in their own writing. In So What? Who Cares?, Birkenstein and Graff provide examples like “These findings have important implications for the broader domain of _____” to show good ways to give “real-world applications to your claims” (Birkenstein  & Graff, 99).

Week 5 Thlog

          Going over Zack’s comments on my WP1 was somewhat crushing but at the same time very helpful.  I think a lot of teachers in the past have either not really cared or just didn’t look too much into my writing. They’ve given minimal advice so that I could make my work satisfactory, but I can tell Zack really wants to make us good writers. The comments were extremely honest, and necessary for me to ever be able to improve on my skills. He made many good points, like when he told me to get rid of all the “fluff” surrounding the important parts of the paper. I have always been that kid that just goes off on a tangent until I get to a point where the information isn’t relevant anymore. I knew that about myself, but his comments made me realize that keeping to the point is extremely important for argumentation and rhetoric.

         I enjoyed the activity that we did on Monday regarding the different disciplines and how they would analyze romantic relationships. It’s cool to see how many questions can be asked about one topic just based off of what your field is. The field I chose was biological anthropology and it questioned how monogamy has become evolutionary advantageous to humans. It sucks though because after doing that activity I realize that “romantic relationships” is a topic I would love to write on. It’s so hard for me to come up with ideas that are 1) easy to write about and 2) interesting to me. Whatever topic I choose, I’ll probably analyze biology and some other discipline, because biology is always my go-to and it’s fun to talk about.

         The “Moves” exercise on Wednesday was very informative because we really had to think about every step that Michael Jordan and The Rock made in order to fully understand the entirety of their famous “moves”. It’s harder to understand author’s moves in writing because they’re a little less visual: you have to dissect it out of the writing. It’s still kind of difficult for me to understand that anything a writer does in his writing can be considered a move, because that leaves EVERYTHING subject to being labeled a move, even the way the writer uses semicolons or pronouns. I think the PB2B will help.

PB2A: Deconstructing Biological Research Publications

   I decided to analyze biological research papers.

              Though academic biological research papers share features in common with other hard sciences, the subject pertains specifically to some aspect of biology: it can range from a physiological perspective such as the effects of multiple sclerosis on the central nervous system to an evolutionary look at the phylogenic relationship between the genomes of two organisms. The general organization of every paper, however, is the same. The language is scientific and may be difficult for the general public to comprehend, but that is because these works are written to provide research for other researchers. The paper serves to reveal findings from a study or experiment and provide evidence to support or reject a hypothesis. The title is very specific and indicates these findings. The title of the example I found was “Sex Differences in the Cerebellum and Frontal Cortex: Roles of Estrogen Receptor Alpha and Sex Chromosome Genes”, which discusses the association between chromosomal sex differences and neurobehavioral diseases. It informs the reader of what the paper will be focusing on. It is to the point and does not contain any unnecessary information. Unlike titles in academic writing, empirical research papers do not emphasize creativity. After the title comes the abstract. An abstract is a short paragraph that briefly summarized the key points of the study: why the researchers conducted the experiment, their hypothesis, what they found, and what that means for science. Not every biological research paper has an abstract, but it lets a person know if the paper will be of good use to him/her. The introduction comes next. It usually poses some kind of problem that needs to be addressed; it provides general information about a subject and then introduces an area of that topic that should be further explored. It also explains how this scientific exploration could lead to valuable knowledge or offer solutions to a current biological issue.. The introduction also states the main hypothesis at the end.

              The next main segment of the paper contains the methodology and results sections. These sections could be combined, but they are usually separated if there is a large amount of information. The methods section describes the equipment and approaches used to perform the experiment; it explains the procedure, what was used to do it, for how long, at what temperatures, and why. The purpose of the methods section is to provide the reader with the information needed to be able to repeat the experiment exactly. It is essential to conduct a repeatable, reliable experiment so people can make more evidence to support or refute a scientific claim. The results section states quantitative and qualitative findings. It does not analyze the results. It simply states facts of what happened and includes visual evidence, including graphs and tables, to get the information across.

              The discussion section is where the researcher implements statistical analysis to interpret his results. He explains why or why not he expected these results, what they mean, and whether he must reject or can accept the null hypothesis. This section again ties the experiment to the “big picture”, how it is provides a new finding and contributes to valuable biological knowledge. The researcher also includes potential experimental errors, how his experiment could be improved, and what other areas of the topic could be explored. The conclusion is somewhat like the abstract in that it briefly explains the results and the significance behind them. Acknowledgements compose a small but important section of the paper that gives credit and thanks to those that helped the research with the experiment in some way, whether via funding, providing resources, or assisting with the project. The references section comes last and provides citations of all the online or textual resources the researcher used to find outside information on the topic, including other scholarly articles.

              The specific article I chose aimed to answer the question of whether the Calb calcium-binding protein is dimorphic outside the hypothalamus, meaning it is expressed at different concentrations in men and women. They also conducted a study to see if deletion of a specific estrogen receptor would reduce the functionality of the Calb gene in females. The broader purpose of the study was to develop a deeper understanding of the links between physiological sex differences and the different prevalence of neurobehavioral diseases among each sex. For me personally, I believe the abstract and introduction are the most important components of the piece as well as for all other biological research essays. It allows someone who is not necessarily an expert in the field to understand the key points and findings of the study. This way, scientific knowledge can be spread across all audiences and not just people in the field.

Week 4 Thlog

Week 4 Thlog

              I had never heard of the “reverse outline” before Monday’s class. The concept has never been discussed by any high school or college professors. But I find it to be a very helpful tool. Being someone who tends to go off on a tangent when writing, the reverse outline will be very useful in future writing. I am one of those writers that accidentally adds way too much unnecessary information, which is usually one of the things that causes points to be docked off my assignments. But the reverse outline can help me easily pick out the unnecessary tidbits in my papers. Being able to use it to see if your paper matches up with your thesis statement is also really helpful so you can see if you need to adjust your thesis to your paper or vice versa.

              When we did the short activity on Wednesday where we were asked to think of questions about the “melted bottle” scenario, I had no idea what its purpose was at first. But when Zack then asked us to come up with certain disciplines that would ask these specific questions, the lesson started to make sense. I thought it was fascinating when we talked about how every discipline asks a different question about a specific situation For example, imagine a murder scene in which someone robbed a store and then shot the cashier. A psychologist might ask why the robber felt compelled to kill the victim even after he got all the money. An anthropologist might use this situation to ask a bigger question as to why murders have seemed to have increased in the United States. The perspective that all disciplines take on a situation are completely different, and their questions help to find different solutions, all of which are relevant to society. I am kind of excited about Writing Project Two because I am interested in analyzing these different perspectives.

Week 3 Thlog

Week 3 Thlog

I thought Wednesday’s Writing Tips were very useful. Tip #1 was especially insightful: for “high-stake” pieces, it is important not to rush through it in one sitting. Even if you think you’re finished and have done everything you can, you should leave it temporarily and come back to it later. Often times, coming back to your work after a period of time will allow you to recognize obvious or subtle changes that should be made and wouldn’t have been recognizable before. I also like the advice of not only coming back to your work at a later time to make your work better but also just to give yourself a break. I believe that giving yourself time to relax can make you a better writer, because it gives you a chance to clear your mind and prevents you from going insane.

              Wednesday’s student/peer review workshop was extremely helpful. I found that when I would critique my classmates’ work, I would recognize the same errors in my own. For instance, when I made suggestions on many of their introductions and thesis statements in particular, I went back to my intro and noticed the same errors.

              Constructing my Writing Project has been fairly difficult for me. I have my topic down and a rough draft, but it’s hard to talk about how The Beatles lyrics are a genre without incorporating their musical style. But I’m glad Zack reminded me of this so I can make corrections and focus more on the lyrics themselves. Also, applying my topic to the general significance of genre awareness is still something I’m working on. This ties into Monday’s reading we talked about—Birkenstein’s and Graff’s essay addressing the “so what, who cares” issue. I need to think of a concept of genre and apply it to “the bigger picture”. Maybe I can explain how decoding genre can allow us to analyze the social/cultural components of a specific time period; understanding the rhetoric in The Beatles lyrics can provide clues to what it was like to live in the 60’s and what happened during that decade.

Week 2 Thlog

              Analyzing Caroll’s “Steps Toward Rhetorical Analysis”, I realized that we analyze rhetorical situations subconsciously. Also, almost any situation involving other people is a rhetorical one. When my two partners and I had to come up with examples of everyday rhetorical analysis in Monday’s class, countless examples just flowed into my mind. One of the most relatable examples was the typical guy-girl Isla Vista party encounter.

 It’s a trivial event that some people may say doesn’t deserve much thought. Yet the Isla Vista party scene and opposite-sex interactions within it constitute the biggest aspect of Isla Vista culture and reputation. Although these interactions are known to occur between intoxicated people, rhetorical analysis between guy and girl is being performed instantaneously. The girl’s outfit is the first piece of visual rhetoric. When going out, most girls dress to look good, whether it’s to outdo other girls or to win a guy’s attention. The second rhetorical event is when a man approaches a woman (responds to her rhetoric) and uses his persuasive skills to get him to like her. The initial first few seconds of the interaction are crucial; the man needs to make a great first impression through his word choice, his confidence level (confident but not cocky), his style of clothing, etc. in order to win the girl over. This is a risky encounter because the man does not know his audience; he doesn’t know for sure which “tools” will be persuasive and which will be offensive. The overall purpose of the encounter is usually to get the girl’s number or even go home with her (as shallow as that may be).

              Just stopping to think about the unconscious effort that goes into such a spontaneous and uncertain event is quite fascinating. It really tells you a lot about the town we live in. Of course, not everybody lives that shallow and sexually-unsafe lifestyle, but enough people do to make Isla Vista one of the major know college towns known for its alcohol use, sex, and STD’s.

Generators: No Effort at No Cost

PB1B

Generators: No Effort at No Cost

The automatic computer science research paper generator creates essays that are meant to be submitted as assignments with “low submission standards” (as stated by the website), meaning that the work will not  be subject to harsh grading or scrutiny because no one will look too much into it. All that is required is an author name, and the website will generate a seemingly legitimate paper. I tried to regenerate more than one paper, but the one that kept coming up in class—“Decoupling Sensor Networks from Rasterization in Congestion Control”—was the one that continuously came up for me. The example posted on the website was titled “The Influence of Probabilistic Methodologies on Networking” and was very similar in format. The papers used extremely colloquial, scientific jargon while simultaneously implementing vague words with the intent of causing ambiguity and the inability of the reader to truly understand the subject. Both essays contained the basic essential features of a legitimate research paper: an introduction, methodologies section, results section, a conclusion, and references. The website example went further to include an abstract, but both were structured properly. Both included figures to illustrate their points. The true author of these works is unknown, and the applicability of the graphs is questionable.

Pandyland is different from the paper generator in that you can generate a randomly created comic strip. The website gives the viewer the option to generate the comic or get a new one. Like the CS paper generator, the real author of the cartoons is unknown. These comics average six boxes in length, but some are much longer. All of the comic strips included inappropriate subjects such as sex or violence and explicit language. Both of these components contributed to the humor of the piece. All comics served to be funny; some were highly sarcastic where others required more thought. Occasionally some included popular characters or movies like Garfield and The Little Mermaid. When I was scrolling through comics generated by other people, I noticed there was a series comic called “Fluffington” that told a different story each time. Some of the comics use humor to illustrate current social issues. For example, the strip titled “Social Media Man” showed that being too involved in social media can interfere with ones priorities by portraying a super hero that was so obsessed with his blog that he failed to save people.

The meme generator was similar to Pandyland in the context posted but different in the options given. With the meme generator, you are given the option to either use a picture provided by the website and come up with a caption or submit your own image and caption. Most of the provided images are either of a contorted cartoon face, a celebrity’s face, a child’s face, or an animal. The captions are usually short and simple: There is a phrase at the top of the image that continues on the bottom so as not to cover the face in the middle. The caption is always humorous, sometimes outwardly so, sometimes a little more dry. Like the comic strip generator, many of the memes are very sarcastic. The face on the meme can often give a tiny hint as to what kind of humor will be portrayed and. It also fits the caption well.

It was difficult to search for another type of generator in which you can generate new information for free or in little time. At first I looked for more essay generators, but most only gave advice on how to construct a better essay or required a fee. I found a thesis generator, but I had to insert all the information of my “essay” for the site to come up with something I could have thought of in seconds. Instead, I typed in “fake ID generator” and found fakenamegenerator.com. It is a website that allows you to put in little information and generate a whole new, although illegitimate, identity. I don’t know what the purpose of this website is, because I doubt using this information would work anywhere. All you have to do is select a gender, nationality, and country that you want to apply to you and the website will construct a whole profile based on those criteria. The profile contains so much information: Full name, partial social security number (you can log on to receive a full one), full address (with geographic coordinates), phone number, birth date and zodiac sign, email address with username and password, occupation, physical characteristics (height, weight, blood type), what kind of car you drive, and more. Overall, it seems like a pretty illegitimate website that’s covered with advertisements and wants to trick you into “signing up” so they can scam you.

PB1A:

 Convincing People to Like You in 140 Characters or less

Twitter has become a media sensation that has recently branched out to a much larger personelle, particularly young adults, teens, and celebrities and political figures, within the last five years. Other social media networks are just as popular, like Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat for example, but they all have more restrictive qualities: Facebook posts are likely to be seen by relatives since it is more popular with older generations, Instagram requires posting a photo in order to express words, and a Snapchat story lasts 24 hours with a word capacity even less than Twitter’s. The ability to quickly express one’s feelings to a more relatable audience and keep up with celebrities’ daily activities has caused its global rise in popularity.

A tweet in itself is such a specific genre, but there are underlying subgenres that determine the purpose, the context, and the tone. The subtweet is a tweet made regarding a follower on twitter with the intention of that person seeing it. A subtweet usually has a negative connotation; most of the time it is made out of anger or disrespect. One might subtweet about how a friend betrayed her, or the fact that one of her followers “gets around”. The name of the “victim” is never displayed, but the typer knows that the recipient will get the message once he/she sees it. In other words, a subtweet is basically an immature tactic for starting conflicts. The intended audience is one, unfortunate or possibly deserving person, and the purpose is not to exploit this person’s actions but to provoke a desired reaction out of him/her.

A similar subgenre is the ornery “life-lesson” style. This kind of tweet is usually made on a bad day, when someone is going through a rough patch, either long- or short-term. Sometimes one has just had an Epiphone, a realization about life. Other times it is just a result of deep reflection of a certain experience. Not all “life-lesson” tweets are negative. Some are motivating, encouraging its readers to work harder in school, work, or relationships in order to meet goals and find happiness. Others are warnings, telling one’s readers not to fall in love or not to trust people because they will always let you down in the end. Essentially a life-lesson tweet is not really offering advice to other people but actually a subconscious reminder to the maker himself. These tweets are usually longer than other subgenres and more descriptive.

Arguably the most widely-used style is the funny tweet. These tweets are the most simple and usually short in length. People make these tweets just to get a laugh out of people and increase their chances of getting likes. Many involve severe sarcasm, as sarcastic humor has become a huge trend in recent years. They also usually have something to do with the writer himself; it might tell of a funny event that happened to him today or a humorous observation he has made. Unfortunately, younger-generation humor has become politically or sexually offensive to many people, but the inappropriateness is supposedly why it’s funny. Either way, most funny tweets are light-hearted with no intention of deliberately hurting anyone’s feelings but simply to make the writer more likeable.

The last subgenre is the purely promotional tweet, which is mainly used by celebrities—up-and coming or already established—and important political figures. Often times artists will tweet about their recently released albums and presidential candidates will promote their campaigns. This tweet style is mostly informational, with some possible emotional aspects to increase the fanbase.

As diverse as these tweet styles may be, they all have the same basic underlying features and limitations. Most tweets of all styles make use of the hashtag, which was originally made to connect people interested in certain current trends but is too often abused and overused. All tweets use pathos to captivate its followers, whether it encourages anger, laughter, or happiness. One hundred percent of people’s tweets are just highly edited versions of themselves. People try to seem cooler, funnier, wiser than they actually are so they can seem more likeable or to increase their follower fanbase. Essentially, all tweets face the same constraints. Every thought that one wants to jot down must be expressed in 140 characters or less, which usually leads to a much more edited, controlled thought than the one that emerged in his/her mind. But the biggest limitation is the peer pressure imposed by one’s audience. The main intention behind a tweet is to get likes, so the writer will be motivated to write something that appeals to his/her readers and to avoid a subject that is publicly frowned upon. A tweet is only a fraction of one’s thoughts.

Week 1 Thlog

              The rhetorical analysis essay by Laura B. Carroll was a huge refresher for me. I haven’t taken a serious writing class since my senior year of high school. None of my other General Ed. writing classes ever used the word “rhetoric”, so I had pretty much forgotten what the concept meant until Carroll so thoroughly explained how to analyze its parts in a text. I appreciate that she provided more than one method for rhetorical analysis; she provided multiple options—such as the pathos-ethos-logos approach, the “rhetorical situation”, and the “rhetorical triangle”—just in case one was more helpful than the other. I can honestly say that I partly enjoyed reading this essay, because she gave so many relatable analogies and, like the kids’ art education essay, used humor to keep her audience’s attention. The aspect that stood out to me the most was when she discussed pathos and how it is used over ethos and logos to win people’s attention in a short amount of time. Facts and credibility are important in persuasive writing, but now I believe that pathos may be the most important aspect of the piece. One can sound really smart and sensible, but he can’t truly persuade an audience unless he can tap into their emotions.

              Peter Elbow’s “Two Kinds of Thinking” was unique in the way that he emphasized that intuitive, uncensored thinking is just as important for good writing as critical thinking. I have seen previous writers discuss the importance of freewriting before structuring an essay, but never has one made it such a critical point. First-order thinking has actually always been difficult for me. In elementary and high school I was mainly trained to focus on the organization and structure of my writing that I think I forgot how to not think when writing. Even in daily life, I’ve realized that I overthink EVERYTHING, and it’s exhausting. In class this past week, when De Piero would tell us to pull out our journals and write down the first things that came to mind when introducing a topic, I found myself stuck; I had to force my thoughts to jumpstart, to switch out of “careful thinking” mode.  For instance, when we put in our journal entries for different types of genres and were asked to just jot down what types we've encountered in school and outside of it, people listed so many examples and I could barely think of any. I didn't even think of poetry, personal statements, and diary entries as genres. I think I'm incapable of thinking outside the box, and the box that I think inside of is awfully narrow. Hopefully as this course progresses I can teach myself how to let my thoughts flow.

About Me

     I’m Jordan. I was born in Virginia and raised in Sacramento, California, where I have moved numerous times. I’m a huge mommy’s girl because she raised me on her own for most of my life. But now I have an amazing stepdad, along with two beautiful little sisters.

     I was never athletic, although I ran cross country all four years of high school (and sucked) and two years of track-and-field. Sports were just never my thing. I played the trumpet throughout middle school. I was always one of those over-achiever, try-hard students that got all A’s. Starting in elementary school, I wanted to be the top student. I needed to have the highest grade in the class to be satisfied; I think it was because I wasn’t really good at anything other than being book smart.

     Going to college had always been my plan, especially because my mom never got a degree and wanted a better future for me. UC Santa Barbara wasn’t my first choice of universities. In fact, it was probably my third or fourth. But I am so grateful that I ended up here; it is absolutely the best school for me. I believe everything happens for a reason.

     I have only had three jobs in my life: Being a hostess, interning at UC Davis, and now working at a local athletic club. I am a pre-biology major, aiming for a zoology degree so I can pursue wildlife research or conservation. Animals are my biggest passion; I like animals way more than I like people. I have loved animals since I was little, and can’t imagine doing anything else with my life other than working with them.

     I consider myself a very genuine person; what you see is what you get. I pride myself in being kind, giving, and loyal. I believe in working hard for what you want, and doing whatever makes you happy.